Post by ZX on Jan 25, 2007 14:58:48 GMT -5
Don't know if this was posted yet. Mixed with some ZXWWF Humor from WWE.com's topic.
This Sunday, the Royal Rumble will be held in San Antonio, Texas and feature a star studded 30-Man Royal Rumble Match. Superstars can only be eliminated if they are thrown over the top rope. In the unlikely event that you find yourself in a Royal Rumble Match, here are ten helpful hints from WWE.com.
Don’t: Try to pin someone
Dear Mr. Savage circa 1993, do you see a ref in the ring? Neither do we. Maybe that’s because the Royal Rumble Match is an OVER-THE-TOP-ROPE Battle Royal, silly. Next time you’re in the Royal Rumble you better study up on the rules, but don’t worry, it’s probably going to be a while.
Don’t: Try to hide in Jumbo J's diaper.
Yes, they look awfully comfortable, but if the Caucasian Bulldozer finds you hiding in his duds, you’ll most likely earn a free ride to elimination-ville.
Don’t: Threaten to throw 30 men over the top rope
Many a ZXWWF Superstar has claimed that he will win the Royal Rumble Match by “throwing 30 men over the top rope.” Obviously these guys could use a math lesson from Matt Striker, or at least a couple of episodes of Sesame Street.
Don’t: Put on a disguise and pretend you’re just passing through
It might sound like a good strategy, but only Eugene would miss a giant pink bunny sneaking out of the ring, and unfortunately, Eugene’s not in the match.
Don’t: Climb to the top rope or stand on the ring apron.
While the top rope can assist you in doing some significant damage to your opponent, it can also leave you open for a very easy elimination — even a visit to Dr. Rios. In 2005, Dequan and Big J were known for eliminating Superstars via a Goregasm and Sorry Miss Jacksons to those hanging on the ring apron.
Don’t: Take a break to ask for autographs
We know this is your first Royal Rumble Match, Miz, but please try to restrain your inner fanboy until after the match.
Don’t: Run to the ring
What’s the rush? Be more like the Repo Man. Have a hot dog, pull up a chair to chat with fans, maybe even take a nap. Bottom line: take your time. Just like life, the Royal Rumble Match is a marathon, not a 100-meter dash. If you're Dequan on the other hand, it'll give you more momentum when you hit the Goregasm, just like he did to JB last year within seconds of entering the Rumble.
Don’t: Eliminate yourself
Mick Foley must have still been recovering from a chair shot to the head when he abandoned ship during the 2004 Royal Rumble Match. To Mick’s credit, he did eliminate himself to beat down Randy Orton, so who can really blame him?
Don’t: Start crying
When you see a group of powerful WWE Superstars rushing at you, this might seem like the only thing you can do. Our advice? Man up, pal. Crying isn’t going to help you, and please, there are Divas around — try not to embarrass yourself.
Do: Make sure you have a will beforehand
When you step into the ring with the Unholy Cabinet, the Night Breed, AND nWo, you might just need it.
This Sunday, the Royal Rumble will be held in San Antonio, Texas and feature a star studded 30-Man Royal Rumble Match. Superstars can only be eliminated if they are thrown over the top rope. In the unlikely event that you find yourself in a Royal Rumble Match, here are ten helpful hints from WWE.com.
Don’t: Try to pin someone
Dear Mr. Savage circa 1993, do you see a ref in the ring? Neither do we. Maybe that’s because the Royal Rumble Match is an OVER-THE-TOP-ROPE Battle Royal, silly. Next time you’re in the Royal Rumble you better study up on the rules, but don’t worry, it’s probably going to be a while.
Don’t: Try to hide in Jumbo J's diaper.
Yes, they look awfully comfortable, but if the Caucasian Bulldozer finds you hiding in his duds, you’ll most likely earn a free ride to elimination-ville.
Don’t: Threaten to throw 30 men over the top rope
Many a ZXWWF Superstar has claimed that he will win the Royal Rumble Match by “throwing 30 men over the top rope.” Obviously these guys could use a math lesson from Matt Striker, or at least a couple of episodes of Sesame Street.
Don’t: Put on a disguise and pretend you’re just passing through
It might sound like a good strategy, but only Eugene would miss a giant pink bunny sneaking out of the ring, and unfortunately, Eugene’s not in the match.
Don’t: Climb to the top rope or stand on the ring apron.
While the top rope can assist you in doing some significant damage to your opponent, it can also leave you open for a very easy elimination — even a visit to Dr. Rios. In 2005, Dequan and Big J were known for eliminating Superstars via a Goregasm and Sorry Miss Jacksons to those hanging on the ring apron.
Don’t: Take a break to ask for autographs
We know this is your first Royal Rumble Match, Miz, but please try to restrain your inner fanboy until after the match.
Don’t: Run to the ring
What’s the rush? Be more like the Repo Man. Have a hot dog, pull up a chair to chat with fans, maybe even take a nap. Bottom line: take your time. Just like life, the Royal Rumble Match is a marathon, not a 100-meter dash. If you're Dequan on the other hand, it'll give you more momentum when you hit the Goregasm, just like he did to JB last year within seconds of entering the Rumble.
Don’t: Eliminate yourself
Mick Foley must have still been recovering from a chair shot to the head when he abandoned ship during the 2004 Royal Rumble Match. To Mick’s credit, he did eliminate himself to beat down Randy Orton, so who can really blame him?
Don’t: Start crying
When you see a group of powerful WWE Superstars rushing at you, this might seem like the only thing you can do. Our advice? Man up, pal. Crying isn’t going to help you, and please, there are Divas around — try not to embarrass yourself.
Do: Make sure you have a will beforehand
When you step into the ring with the Unholy Cabinet, the Night Breed, AND nWo, you might just need it.
